It happened again last weekend. I saw a cardinal. Not even a real cardinal. It was made of stained glass and I saw it on a sliding glass door. But I saw it.
Many people have objects or images that have symbolic meaning to them. For me and my family, the cardinal represents my grandmother, to whom I felt very close. It was her favorite bird. When she passed away back in the '80s, members of our family saw cardinals from time to time, either living in our yards where they hadn't before or in times of difficulty or challenge.
When I moved away to college, there was a cardinal outside my window at my dorm as a freshman and sophomore, at the house I lived in my junior and senior year, at my apartment in graduate school and up until I married my husband. I didn't see the cardinal again. I chose to believe that the cardinal (or my grandmother) was with me until I was safely on the right path and with the right person.
Although I missed not having the cardinal beside me on my journey anymore, I took this to mean my grandmother felt confident I could continue on independently; that I didn't need her looking out for me so closely anymore.
Since the passing of my mother and sister last year I have felt somewhat lost and empty. Lost about who I am, my purpose, my role and how I want to live out the remainder of my life, however long that may be. I have taken up writing in the last eight or nine years and in the past year given serious consideration to bringing several book ideas to fruition and I get closer every day.
I have attended a writers' conference. I have connected with other authors. I read and follow numerous writer and reader organizations and publications. I do my research on how to find my way through the publishing maze. I have even dedicated more time to writing. However, I find that I still doubt my choice. I worry about finances, supporting my family, and being successful. Doubt causes me concern that I will not find a balance between realizing my dream and financial stability.
This past weekend I was at a writers' workshop at the home of the teacher. We gathered in her living room. The way we were situated had us facing a sliding glass door. The sun was too bright so the curtains were drawn. Toward the end of the workshop my focus drifted to the small sliver of sliding glass door that was not covered by the curtain. On the door was a stained glass cardinal. From where I was sitting I was the only one who could see it.
I knew immediately that I was going in the right direction. I had asked for guidance and support on this journey, to give me a sign if I was making the right choice.
As soon as I saw the cardinal, I relaxed and my heart filled with joy. The details will get worked out.
I am going in the right direction.
I wish you clear vision to see your signs of support along your path, and the courage and confidence to keep going! Life is short. Commit to follow your heart.